The bisexual community has an inside joke describing what it’s like to date as a bi person: People think it means double the options and double the fun, but it really just means double the rejection (sad trombone sound effect).
You have to be able to laugh at self-deprecating jokes like this if you’re a member of the Lonely Hearts Club, regardless of whether you’re diving into the straight or gay dating scene. But bisexual people do face extra roadblocks in the dating world.
Online dating absolutely sucks for everyone, but the fact that there’s only a single bisexual dating site that caters specifically to this community (and even then, we’re kind of iffy about it) means many folks are frequently swiping on people who don’t take bisexuality seriously. In 2024, that shouldn’t be the reality.
There’s [an] issue of bi people feeling invisible when they’re deemed too “straight passing,” which can often happen in queer spaces. This kind of invalidation contributes to many bisexual folks’ struggles of not feeling queer enough.
The “B” in LGBTQ+ makes up 50 percent of the queer community, according to data from the Human Rights Campaign, but it’s also one of the least-acknowledged letters in the acronym. What makes the bisexual dating landscape — especially the online one — so tricky to maneuver?
Before we get into the best dating apps for bisexuals, let’s tackle this question for a sec.
Bisexuality is hyper-sexualized on heteronormative apps
Something bisexual women are all too familiar with when navigating online dating is the concept — one as old as time — of men being straight-up creeps. It’s like heterosexual men can’t seem to grasp that bisexuality is not a green light to ask a woman how many girls she’s been with or if she likes men or women better. Such comments, especially from absolute strangers online, are disconcerting at best and threatening at worst.
Megan, a 23-year-old woman from Virginia, told us via Facebook that she couldn’t even count the number of gross (slash ignorant) messages she’d received from men in reference to writing “bi” in her Tinder bio. “There were times when they would be like, ‘Oh, you never seemed gay in high school’ or whatever, because gay is obviously a personality trait 🙃,” she said. “Like my sexuality wasn’t a real thing, or it was just a fetish to these people.”
On most dating apps, there are a lot of couples only looking for bi women to hook up with. We aren’t saying that threesomes are wrong, but let’s not assume that every bi person is dreaming of hooking up with you and your beau. You’d think the user base on queer dating apps would be more enlightened than on comparatively heteronormative apps, but that’s not always the case.
Catfishing is also an issue bi folks have to grapple with. Some men have such a rabid obsession with queer women that they’ll sign up for a dating site as a woman just to see an all-women swiping field. It’s a total privacy breach and certainly doesn’t boost your willingness to meet up with someone IRL. That’s why the best dating sites require some form of Facebook or ID verification these days; in the case of Tinder, built-in background checks are (thankfully) now a mainstay feature of the app.
Queer dating apps aren’t always inviting, either
Does “gold star lesbian” sound familiar to you? Not everyone sees the label as a positive, despite its cheerful-sounding name. It refers to lesbians who have never slept with a man. Countless bisexual women have reported being ghosted after disclosing that they have been with a guy before, and even on the best dating apps for bisexual women, profiles with “gold stars only” in the bio have popped up.
Then there’s the issue of bi people feeling invisible when they’re deemed too “straight passing,” which can often happen in queer spaces. This kind of invalidation contributes to many bisexual folks’ struggles of not feeling queer enough.
This feels a lot like the impossible Goldilocks principle, doesn’t it, of being too much and never enough?
Bisexuality and the anxiety of not feeling ‘queer enough’
Why you might still want to put “bi” in your dating app bio
Adding those two simple letters to your bio may draw unwanted attention, and it’s going to be a pain in the ass. But in the long run, it also acts as an asshole filter to weed out people who try to put sexual orientation into a box.
Just think about it: Would you want your partner to think that being bisexual is just a pit stop on the road to being a “full-blown gay“? Of course not. Then there’s the old stereotype that bisexuality means you want to bang anything that moves. The easiest way to ensure that you won’t be left heartbroken over someone rejecting or questioning your sexuality is to let them know how you identify from the jump. You deserve the very best, which means only those people who accept you as you are.
With all of this in mind — and it’s a lot to keep in mind — we wanted to review the best bi dating apps. We can’t promise you’ll never have a bad experience on these (indeed, mishaps are all but guaranteed when you brave dating apps), but we believe these particular apps give bisexual men, women, and non-binary folks the very best shot at finding a compatible partner.